Paine is all I remember
by Lupinrager
Summary: Paine was always the quiet one, however, still waters run deep, or so they say


Disclaimer: All Final Fantasy X characters © Square enix

Author's comment: I got over a few year slumps from a reviewer a few months ago. I just decided now would be the time to get off my lazy ass and continue. Due to not writing about X-2 in a while, I may have forgotten some details…oh well

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'Another day, another Sphere' I thought quietly to myself. The sun peeked through the tinted windows and lit the room up like something out of a fantasy sphere. 30 minutes of the morning were always spent buckling my entire outfit, sometimes I wondered what made me go for this look, I barely remember anything from before. The only thing I can remember is this pale face and these piercing red eyes, Eyes that everyone called cold or indifferent, everyone except those two. But then again, those two are crazy, two crazy girls I can proudly call my surrogate family.

How long has it been since I joined the Gullwings? A year? Two years? I know I had a problem with my memory but this was bad enough. I just know that I was alone before, and now I'm not. I can thank Yuna and Rikku for that, those two can be annoying when they're cheerful. I expected more from Yuna, being a high summoner and all that jazz, speaking of high summoner, how is it I could forget something as huge as Sin? Sin was all news to me when I joined. Hell, I don't even know how they found me.

Tracing my fingers across my reflection in the mirror, I trace my chin, my figure and try to remember more, the only thing I can remember was waking up alone, and afraid. I could only feel pain for a long time, maybe that's why it stuck as my name. I don't remember if this was ever my real name or not, I just remember that was what I said when they asked for my name.

Sphere hunting is a good gig, the thrill of the fights kinda kept me in check; I was able to keep all that stress out that way, before I could snap. The idea of me snapping out would be a foreign concept for everyone else, I was the emotionless one to them, the quiet anti-social swordswoman with a troubled past. Cliché', an idea reminiscent from old stories. The girls sometimes looked up to me as the responsible one, sometimes the party pooper, I definitely felt like they were my sisters.

But I actually admired those two, I could see it as clear as day, Rikku was bubbly inside and out. She could stay bubbly even in the worst of predicaments, she was so care free, but that was going to get her killed one day. However Yuna…she was worst than me. I may be more of a taciturn, but she hides her scars behind mask of smiles, I can just see that pained look in her eyes, not talking much gives one an enhanced sense of sight, or at least a lot of free time.

Sometimes I wonder what makes me stay here on this ship, I had no agenda, no goal, no aspirations, the Gullwings were in it for the spheres, and I'm here for the ride. But strangely, I started to trust everyone here, sure we keep our distances, but there was a sense of closeness among us. However, no matter how close we got, I just can't open to them. Something inside of me is stopping that, like the idea of forming bonds with people was something that hurt me. The more I went on this crazy joy ride, the more people I met, the closer we got to the answers of our questions, the feeling of anxiety, like a pressure around my heart grew heavier. Especially around Nooj, there was something about him that disturbed me, something that disturbed me and yet made me feel at ease. Maybe it has something to do with who I once was, I only remember running around in panic, confused and afraid, and really alone.

I stared intensely at my reflection. Maybe that's why I stayed; I just didn't want to be alone. But if that were the case, why was I afraid of being close to them. I sat down on my bed, staring into space once again. I hardly ever got time to think to myself, I was too busy mowing through fiends and pesky rival hunters, which was fun. Maybe I was a soldier in a previous incarnation. Who knows?

Yet, ever since Nooj handed Yuna that sphere a while back, both she and Rikku have been acting strange to me, as if they felt sorry for me. I never noticed that before, but their attitude was slightly different than normal. Before I could think about it more, the door slid open and out walked Rikku.

"Hey Paine! What's taking so long?"

"…"

"Well, get ready to launch, we got a huge signal on the map, its gonna be a priceless sphere!"

Yup, Rikku, cheerful as always, I wonder why Yuna wanted to be more like her?

"Let's go." I mumble, and follow an especially bouncy Rikku through the Celsius.

A long day of fighting had ensued, and now it was time to head back. The sphere in hand, Yuna and Rikku were especially beaming, concerning that sphere I could care less. As soon as we boarded, Yuna and Rikku deposited the sphere.

"You want to check it out tonight?" Shinra, a young Al Bhed asked us.

"Nah! We've got time tomorrow!" Rikku beamed.

"Just keep it for us till later." Yuna waved back before disappearing around the corner. Rikku ran after her yelling; "Hey Yunie! It's my turn to use the shower first!"

The stars twinkled at night, Yuna and Rikku were safely in bed, but something pulled at me, I couldn't sleep, not that I needed it. However my mind kept drifting back to that sphere Nooj handed us, after that was when they started acting different, like they pitied me. I might as well watch the sphere and find out what was in it, maybe I'll find out why they act strangely, well at least stranger than usual.

The cold air felt cool as I made my way to the bridge, everyone was asleep. It made this feeling so strange. Yet I had no time to think about what was wrong, that sphere had played with my mind strings too much. Browsing through the folders, I found that sphere in a strangely named folder, but the prospect of finding out a dire secret made me overlook the name. I fitted the sphere into the slot, the bright lights of the machine glowed softly, waiting for me to start it to life. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, resting on the play button.

'One push was all that needed to satiate my curiosity.' I thought to myself. Yet my finger froze in place, I needed to push the button, I wanted to push the button, but something inside was stopping me. As if I was afraid of what it could contain; a secret of mine? My past? Who I once was? Or something else entirely? The more these questions raced through my mind, the less I wanted to push that button. However that feeling wasn't strong enough and my finger gently pushed down on the button.

I woke up the next morning with a clear mind. Almost dazed, I tried to remember what ever I did last night. It all came back clearly, I pushed down the button and the sphere came to life, but as soon as the first images popped up, I ripped the sphere out of the slot and dropped it back into the folder. I remember holding that sphere as if it burned, but something in me didn't want to see that sphere. Rikku gave a yawn as she woke up from the floor, apparently she fell off again.

"Morning Paine, you're up early. What's wrong?"

I gave her a quizzical look and found out, I was sweating cold sweat.

"Nothing, just too warm."

Rikku stared at me in a half dazed state.

"Strange, it was freezing for me, oh well." With another yawn, she scratched herself and made her way to the bathroom.

Thinking about the sphere again, I had to tell myself that whatever secrets that sphere held, I'd have to wait a bit longer. I had a feeling that the answers would be coming soon.


End file.
